I don't even know where to begin I have been home for about a week now. And this morning I am experiencing the missionary blues. Jeff, the leader of the trip, said more then once that the things we are doing here can be done at home. Yet I find in myself no desire to do that work. I make excuses. I am an RA, an intern at a church and a full time student. Do I really have time to reach out into the community? The answer should always be yes. So this morning I am asking God to rebreak my heart. To break it for the needy, the down and out. To break it for those who aren't being loved. I am asking him to remove my skepticism, my doubts. Lord help me to live out here what we lived out there.
The whole week I couldn't help but think that this was more what life was supposed to be like. First of all we were living out the gospel. We were loving on the people of Tacoma. We went to a family shelter, new life shelter, and other places to help prepare and serve lunch. We had VBS at two different locations. We served in a food bank sorting and handing out food. We served in a donation center. In addition we did work around the church and school that we were staying. We reached out and loved on the people of Tacoma. When the opportunities came we shared the love what we had found in Jesus. While I know we had the week off so it made serving the people easy. But it made me think. Shouldn't we be making time to serve the people of Salem? Shouldn't I be making time to serve the people of Salem? To help those in need? To show the love that I have found.
Second, we lived in real community. I believe at the core of who were are is relational. I believe that part of being made in the image of God is being relational. He exists in a continual perfect relationship with himself. We look at the Adam and Eve. They lived in perfect relationship before the fall. While in Tacoma I couldn't help be think that we were living this out. Within two days we were bonded like a family. 27 students and 11 leaders. We lived together, eat together, served together and laughed together. As a team we wrote 1000 encouragement cards to each other. In our broken culture the individual is emphasized so much that it hinders community. But here we lived it out. Every night we had family time which was by far my favorite time. We started off with all stars, people who stuck out that day for doing something good. Then we had God stories, stories of how God moved. Next a few people would share their testimony. Some of the people that shared we prayed over. Finally, we worshiped God through music. I believe community in heaven will be much stronger then what we had. But I believe this was a glimpse into what it will be like. We listened to each other. We laughed with each other. We lived life together. We sat in each others pains. We lived out what it meant to bare one anothers burdens and what it meant to be in real community.
Lastly, people's lives were changed. When a group of people are living out the gospel and living in community how can lives not be changed? There were stories of redemption. Stories of joy. Stories of sorrow. God was in them all. He is in my story. I am not sure how different of a person I am today because of this trip. But I can tell you one thing God moved. So many students and leaders walked away with a changed life. So many people in the places we served walked away with changed lives. God Moved.
Now I ask you. I ask you how are you living out the Gospel? How are you loving on the people around you? Are you living in community? I ask you to join me and keep me accountable. I ask you to challenge me. Lets do this thing together. Lets live out the gospel and love those around us.
In Him,
Dan
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Journey of Worship
I have been on a incredible journey of worship. I grew in a church I love very dearly but it never inspired in me real life moving worship. I never raised me hands I hated to stand when, even if everyone was doing it. We sang old songs and only semi-new ones. I was at church for the message and the fellowship never for the music. Before I continue let explain something. I believe we are made to worship and I feel we will worship something even if its just ourselves. I believe worshiping God goes beyond music, but we can worship God in our daily activities.
But anyway when it came to worship I never worshiped God that way. It just never was a big deal to me. I came to corban and found a church very similar to the one back home. I too loved this church and many things about it. But still music wasn't my thing. I struggled to worship God through it. Well over the the past few months I have been on quiet the journey. I have found myself crying in worship. I have found myself standing when few others are. I find my feet moving to the music. I see my hands raised in the air. I do not say things to brag but to thank Jesus for what he is doing in my heart. I started going to morning star and the worship music is really awesome. We have talented musicians and very good leaders. They have started to influence my baptist roots. Now the spirit moves and I stand I cry out to Jesus with my words of the song. I sing loud and I sing proud.
So I wonder where you are. Maybe you too like to sit in worship time. Maybe it seems weird for you to raise your hands. Just give it a shot. I have found ways to truly worship through the music for the first time in my life. I hope your will discover the joy of being swept in Jesus through music.
Love,
Dan
But anyway when it came to worship I never worshiped God that way. It just never was a big deal to me. I came to corban and found a church very similar to the one back home. I too loved this church and many things about it. But still music wasn't my thing. I struggled to worship God through it. Well over the the past few months I have been on quiet the journey. I have found myself crying in worship. I have found myself standing when few others are. I find my feet moving to the music. I see my hands raised in the air. I do not say things to brag but to thank Jesus for what he is doing in my heart. I started going to morning star and the worship music is really awesome. We have talented musicians and very good leaders. They have started to influence my baptist roots. Now the spirit moves and I stand I cry out to Jesus with my words of the song. I sing loud and I sing proud.
So I wonder where you are. Maybe you too like to sit in worship time. Maybe it seems weird for you to raise your hands. Just give it a shot. I have found ways to truly worship through the music for the first time in my life. I hope your will discover the joy of being swept in Jesus through music.
Love,
Dan
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
a servan's heart
I don't know about you but it seems like for me I here the same theme in my life for a period of time. Here is what I mean. Recently I keep hearing messages on serving God, or it keeps coming up in discussion. This seems to happen and when I finally get it through my thick skull that God is trying to teaching me something. So today's blog is about being a servant.
For the last several years I have been leading somewhere doing something. I have put in somewhere about 20 hours of camps, led wyldlife for two years, led now at churches for 2 1/2 years, and been an RA for 1 1/2 years. I am no stranger to service. But does serving simply make someone a servant? Of coarse in a sense it does. But in a greater sense no. I remember when I first worked at wildhorse back in 05 I fell in love with serving God. I was doing something bigger then myself for the first time ever. I was working long hard hours for Jesus, he was my joy and my love and this was my way of giving back. But recently I think something has gone array. I still love serving but I think now its for the wrong reasons. I look for my guys to tell me that they appreciate what I am doing. I look for affirmation from my bosses that I am doing a good job. I am committing a great sin and searching for the praises of men.
So what am I to do? I sought the praise of men and fell short. I seek approval of those who should not be worried about.
Maybe you are there with me. Maybe you struggle with seeking the praise of those you respect and those who you administer to. If so join me in my prayer.
Dear Lord,
I ask that you renew my heart, mind and attitude. Make them align with yours. I am tired of seeking man's praise and not yours. Help me to see you more clearly. Help me to understand that your opinion is what matter more then anyone else's. Help my ministry not become an idol but use me Lord for your glory and your purposes. Lord help me to Love you in this and give it over to you. Ultimately, give me a servant's heart like I once had. In your name.
I pray that you will have a servant's heart!
For the last several years I have been leading somewhere doing something. I have put in somewhere about 20 hours of camps, led wyldlife for two years, led now at churches for 2 1/2 years, and been an RA for 1 1/2 years. I am no stranger to service. But does serving simply make someone a servant? Of coarse in a sense it does. But in a greater sense no. I remember when I first worked at wildhorse back in 05 I fell in love with serving God. I was doing something bigger then myself for the first time ever. I was working long hard hours for Jesus, he was my joy and my love and this was my way of giving back. But recently I think something has gone array. I still love serving but I think now its for the wrong reasons. I look for my guys to tell me that they appreciate what I am doing. I look for affirmation from my bosses that I am doing a good job. I am committing a great sin and searching for the praises of men.
So what am I to do? I sought the praise of men and fell short. I seek approval of those who should not be worried about.
Maybe you are there with me. Maybe you struggle with seeking the praise of those you respect and those who you administer to. If so join me in my prayer.
Dear Lord,
I ask that you renew my heart, mind and attitude. Make them align with yours. I am tired of seeking man's praise and not yours. Help me to see you more clearly. Help me to understand that your opinion is what matter more then anyone else's. Help my ministry not become an idol but use me Lord for your glory and your purposes. Lord help me to Love you in this and give it over to you. Ultimately, give me a servant's heart like I once had. In your name.
I pray that you will have a servant's heart!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Finding Joy
I don't know where you are at right now. I bet at least some of you that are reading this if not most of you have been hurt very deeply at some point in your life. And maybe right now you aren't the most happiest of people. Maybe your pretty okay. Maybe most days for you are blah. Its not like your sad, depressed or angry but you are just lacking joy. Now before I continue I am in no meaning to say I have arrived. I am not trying to tell you I am in anyway better then you. All I want to do is to discuss the joy I have started to find on a more daily basis.
As most of you have heard I have been very depressed at certain points in my life. The peak of which is in high school during my freshmen and sophomore year. By this time I had endured some hardships. Again I am not trying to have a look at me and how great I am only sharing my life hoping you can find some of it useful. By the time I had reached my freshmen year in high school I had dealt with 3 grandparents dying, two dogs (I love my dogs) dying, parents divorce, another guy moving in (don't worry he is a great guy), my mom having breast cancer, and the list goes on. I hit rock bottom I was ready to lay it down and give up. But God whispered in my ear daily "I love you and have a plan for your life". So I refused to end it but I was far from happy. I had low self-esteem I was overweight and underliked. I smelled bad and few wanted to be my friend.
The next year my brother went off to college right when were were finally getting along. Life just wasn't going well. My mom went on to sell the only house we lived in and get married. I am very happy for her now but then I wasn't. That next summer I took the next stage in finding joy I really began to hold onto the truth that God loves me. It was in him I need to find my self-esteem. I am as you are created in the image of God. I worked at a camp where I served in the kitchen and the work crew boss helped me to understand how much God really loves us. Going into my senior year in high school I was no longer struggling with suicide and I understood I was loved but still I was far from being joyful.
The next year was a life changing experience I went off to college and for the first time I found my identify in Christ. Understanding that I can't define who I am in what I do but as a man who as been redeemed by a loving God
To finish it off a couple years later, which was this last summer. I went to Chicago and was forced to spend a lot of time by myself and spent finding my fulfillment in Jesus. I have always struggled with finding my joy in people. I in a very real way I worshiped people by putting them before God. It took a summer of being mostly alone to realize how to find satisfaction in him.
Now with all these in place I am living my life finding Joy in Christ and being a his Son.
Steps I took to find Joy
1. I urge you to understand that God loves you with a deep and passionate love beyond measure. Look up love in a concordance of a bible and see what it says about God. Especially look in 1 John and John.
2. Find your identity in Christ. Realize we can't do this life on our own. If we look at ourselves through the eyes of our failures of course we will see a wretched person indeed. But once you have accepted Jesus, he now stands in your place. He has covered your sins with his blood. Your a person who shines with Jesus' light. Realize he has not called you to a life of self-pity but redeemed living.
3. Find those things in your life that you put before Christ. Those little idols of people, sports, food, cars, girls, boys, movies, music, toys, etc. Whatever you think will satisfy you and realize it will disappoint you and leave you empty. So cast them away and strive to find your fulfillment in him and him alone.
This was at least how I am finding joy. It is a struggle but I am happy to say I am more joyful then I have ever been, or at least in recent memory. I pray that you find joy in Christ. Realize that he loves you and is calling you to something greater. He loves you with a deep and passionate love. Keep striving, keep living and allow him to guide you.
With love,
Dan
As most of you have heard I have been very depressed at certain points in my life. The peak of which is in high school during my freshmen and sophomore year. By this time I had endured some hardships. Again I am not trying to have a look at me and how great I am only sharing my life hoping you can find some of it useful. By the time I had reached my freshmen year in high school I had dealt with 3 grandparents dying, two dogs (I love my dogs) dying, parents divorce, another guy moving in (don't worry he is a great guy), my mom having breast cancer, and the list goes on. I hit rock bottom I was ready to lay it down and give up. But God whispered in my ear daily "I love you and have a plan for your life". So I refused to end it but I was far from happy. I had low self-esteem I was overweight and underliked. I smelled bad and few wanted to be my friend.
The next year my brother went off to college right when were were finally getting along. Life just wasn't going well. My mom went on to sell the only house we lived in and get married. I am very happy for her now but then I wasn't. That next summer I took the next stage in finding joy I really began to hold onto the truth that God loves me. It was in him I need to find my self-esteem. I am as you are created in the image of God. I worked at a camp where I served in the kitchen and the work crew boss helped me to understand how much God really loves us. Going into my senior year in high school I was no longer struggling with suicide and I understood I was loved but still I was far from being joyful.
The next year was a life changing experience I went off to college and for the first time I found my identify in Christ. Understanding that I can't define who I am in what I do but as a man who as been redeemed by a loving God
To finish it off a couple years later, which was this last summer. I went to Chicago and was forced to spend a lot of time by myself and spent finding my fulfillment in Jesus. I have always struggled with finding my joy in people. I in a very real way I worshiped people by putting them before God. It took a summer of being mostly alone to realize how to find satisfaction in him.
Now with all these in place I am living my life finding Joy in Christ and being a his Son.
Steps I took to find Joy
1. I urge you to understand that God loves you with a deep and passionate love beyond measure. Look up love in a concordance of a bible and see what it says about God. Especially look in 1 John and John.
2. Find your identity in Christ. Realize we can't do this life on our own. If we look at ourselves through the eyes of our failures of course we will see a wretched person indeed. But once you have accepted Jesus, he now stands in your place. He has covered your sins with his blood. Your a person who shines with Jesus' light. Realize he has not called you to a life of self-pity but redeemed living.
3. Find those things in your life that you put before Christ. Those little idols of people, sports, food, cars, girls, boys, movies, music, toys, etc. Whatever you think will satisfy you and realize it will disappoint you and leave you empty. So cast them away and strive to find your fulfillment in him and him alone.
This was at least how I am finding joy. It is a struggle but I am happy to say I am more joyful then I have ever been, or at least in recent memory. I pray that you find joy in Christ. Realize that he loves you and is calling you to something greater. He loves you with a deep and passionate love. Keep striving, keep living and allow him to guide you.
With love,
Dan
Monday, November 16, 2009
Always Forever
There is this song that has been really hitting home for me lately. It has been played both at church and at school. It is cry out from a sinner to a God who saves. He is all I need and it is my prayer that I learn to follow him better. Last Saturday I was brought to tears by the love of God that is clearly displayed in this song. The lyrics and a link are below. Please read and listen, my prayer is that you will understand more clearly that God loves you and cares so much for you.
You are the hand that catches my fall
You are the friend that answers my call
You are my day, You are my night
You are my love and all of my life
You are the love I need
You are the air I breathe
You are my love my life always forever
I would lay down my life
Just to be by Your side
You are my love my life always forever
You are the grace that covers my sin
You’re everything the beginning and end
You have my soul, my heart and my mind
You have my love and all of my life
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, forever
Here is a you tube video of it.
You are the hand that catches my fall
You are the friend that answers my call
You are my day, You are my night
You are my love and all of my life
You are the love I need
You are the air I breathe
You are my love my life always forever
I would lay down my life
Just to be by Your side
You are my love my life always forever
You are the grace that covers my sin
You’re everything the beginning and end
You have my soul, my heart and my mind
You have my love and all of my life
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, forever
Here is a you tube video of it.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Jesus my all in all
To be open and honest I have not been doing the best lately. I have been short tempered. I mean shorter tempered and slightly depressed and I think it all boils down to one thing. That thing is that Jesus isn't my all in all. I don't want you to get the wrong idea I am not so upset that you need to worry. I AM OK! But Jesus isn't who I am putting all my faith and trust in.
My whole life I have felt a little strange and a little different. And most of my life I had been mostly ok with it. But a friend came along and we got to know each other better. Well eventually I began to realize that she got me better then anyone had before. I could talk to her about anything and she would almost always know how to respond. But as life goes on we drifted and she no longer was a person I could go to with things. For the first time in my life I felt someone got it. And then poof she was gone.
I am still trying to find that person who will get it. Who will get why I do the things I do. The person who will accept me and love me for exactly who I am. I know I have friends and family who love me but you get what I am saying. Every corner I turn I am still looking. But you see I have him. Jesus gets me way better then she ever did. He understands why I do the things I do. And he isn't going anywhere. Jesus loves me enough that he died for me! And while I still may find another person I will never find someone as good as Jesus. He needs to be my all in all. My life, my true care. Jesus needs to be the one I am looking for.
My prayer for you is that you will join my journey. That you will find that Jesus needs to be your all in all. Fight for it. Pray that Jesus helps you to find fulfillment in him!
Love,
Dan
My whole life I have felt a little strange and a little different. And most of my life I had been mostly ok with it. But a friend came along and we got to know each other better. Well eventually I began to realize that she got me better then anyone had before. I could talk to her about anything and she would almost always know how to respond. But as life goes on we drifted and she no longer was a person I could go to with things. For the first time in my life I felt someone got it. And then poof she was gone.
I am still trying to find that person who will get it. Who will get why I do the things I do. The person who will accept me and love me for exactly who I am. I know I have friends and family who love me but you get what I am saying. Every corner I turn I am still looking. But you see I have him. Jesus gets me way better then she ever did. He understands why I do the things I do. And he isn't going anywhere. Jesus loves me enough that he died for me! And while I still may find another person I will never find someone as good as Jesus. He needs to be my all in all. My life, my true care. Jesus needs to be the one I am looking for.
My prayer for you is that you will join my journey. That you will find that Jesus needs to be your all in all. Fight for it. Pray that Jesus helps you to find fulfillment in him!
Love,
Dan
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Standing at the Brink
As you probably know I have started my Senior year at Corban College. In many ways I have been looking at and thinking about this time for most of my life. At several different stages I was absolutely convinced what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Some examples are being a youth pastor, starting a church/Young Life partnership, being a counselor, working at Wildhorse for a few years, go to Alaska for a year and the list goes on.
But here is the point each one of these time I was absolutely convinced of what I wanted to do. So what was the problem? It was what I wanted to do. I was praying for God to give me an answer but he is not obligated to give me one. Especially when its years before I graduate.
So I stand at the brink at a loss of what exactly to do. I know what I am passionate about but those can be used in various careers. And just because I am passionate about some things does that mean that I have to do something that meets all those passions? I don't think so. I believe that sometimes God can call us to things that don't meet all the needs that we desire. Because sometimes he can better use us in those situations.
Again here I am and I have only a little idea how what this next stage in my life will look like. But the thing is I am ok with it. Too often I think I make the mistake of forcing my own will instead of letting him guide me steps.
Furthermore, I don't think I need to be doing the same thing all my life. A mentor of mine who I call my Camp Dad because he very much has been a dad to me while I was at camp once told me of the different jobs he has done over the years. And how each one has prepared him for what he is doing today. Therefore wherever Jesus takes me after college that is the end. I will go on to do other things and they will be where he wants me then to.
I pray that you too are finding the peace that comes with letting go. The joy of following and the comfort of accepting.
But here is the point each one of these time I was absolutely convinced of what I wanted to do. So what was the problem? It was what I wanted to do. I was praying for God to give me an answer but he is not obligated to give me one. Especially when its years before I graduate.
So I stand at the brink at a loss of what exactly to do. I know what I am passionate about but those can be used in various careers. And just because I am passionate about some things does that mean that I have to do something that meets all those passions? I don't think so. I believe that sometimes God can call us to things that don't meet all the needs that we desire. Because sometimes he can better use us in those situations.
Again here I am and I have only a little idea how what this next stage in my life will look like. But the thing is I am ok with it. Too often I think I make the mistake of forcing my own will instead of letting him guide me steps.
Furthermore, I don't think I need to be doing the same thing all my life. A mentor of mine who I call my Camp Dad because he very much has been a dad to me while I was at camp once told me of the different jobs he has done over the years. And how each one has prepared him for what he is doing today. Therefore wherever Jesus takes me after college that is the end. I will go on to do other things and they will be where he wants me then to.
I pray that you too are finding the peace that comes with letting go. The joy of following and the comfort of accepting.
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